With Mother’s Day being right around the corner, it’s inevitable that we’d be thinking about our mothers.
This story is going to be tough to share, but I’m writing it because I think it’s important to remind us all that not everyone has the stereotypical “June Cleaver” for a mom – and that’s okay. My mom is Bonnie, not June, and I like it that way.
My Mum and Dad split in 2006. I won’t share more than that about their relationship, because truthfully that’s their story to tell (if they choose to) – not mine. You really only needed that bit of info for reference as you continue reading.
I haven’t lived with my mum since 2006, and there was good and bad with that. The good was that I knew she was doing what she felt she needed to do to be happy. As a woman, it was empowering to see that independence was certainly possible. She did things her way, and parts of that were inspiring. The bad was that I did really miss her.
If you know my mum, you know that she’ll share her mental health journey with you if you ask her about it. She has her own struggles just as I do. I know it hurt her to not have my brother and I living with her anymore, but again, that arrangement happened because she needed her own space to live life and my brother and I were quite frankly tired of moving. We did a lot of that in the two years before this. We wanted to stay in our school district. So, we stayed with our Dad until we went about our own lives.
Even though we were apart physically, I grew to understand that my relationship with my Mum was going to change in a lot of ways.
Our relationship now is this: I respect her as someone constantly working on their own mental health journey. We do keep in touch, we do visit each other when we can, but having our own space and lives isn’t the worst thing in the world either. To be honest, it probably gives us more to talk about when we do connect.
If you’re someone who can relate to this, I’m glad you read it, because we need to know that we’re not alone. Millions of Americans are children of divorce. Millions of Americans have different types of relationships with their mums.
Whatever you have with your mother is valid, relevant, and okay. Remember that this Mother’s Day.