Buckle up, because you’re in for a few truth bombs here.
It’s obviously not you that’s uneasy about the subject, it’s me.
Pun intended, the subject of my weight already weighs on me enough. Why bring it up consistently, or at all? I wondered that when someone brought up my weight gain recently.
I’m not going to name them, because this topic is bigger than that.
I don’t want anyone experiencing the embarrassment, guilt, or shame that I felt when my weight was discussed. Though it was supposedly “brought up out of love and concern,” I couldn’t help but notice that they were the one saying things like “I didn’t want to embarrass you” when I wasn’t embarrassed about my size at all beforehand.
When I look in the mirror, I see a tired ass female who is doing their very best to keep a positive outlook on life. Yeah, she’d like to tone up. She’s put on twenty pounds since a major depressive episode (which I’m sure is visible on such a tiny frame), but she’s still standing in front of that mirror in a way better spot mentally than she was at the time. She’s actually finally getting back to the gym after being inconsistent with her workout routine this past year. She survived a dark period. Isn’t that the accomplishment we should be discussing?
WHO CARES about twenty pounds? Obviously, you do.
Obviously, this is a subject that concerns you in regards to yourself – and that’s fine. Why bring me into it though?
There are a lot of reasons that someone could be gaining or losing weight. If you’re like me, and depression or anxiety are one of them, please don’t be ashamed at how your body reacted to such a trauma. That experience is a trauma. It’s natural to physically respond to it. Even if you gain or lose weight for a different reason, remember that this is okay.
Give yourself the nourishment you need first, and then focus on building the body that you want. It’s just a vessle anyway.